There were a few things that stuck out to me as I read this book. The first was the statement that boys don't need more, they need less, except when it comes to time with their parents. They need less electronics, organized sports, television, etc... She even went as far as saying that is good for boys to get bored because that is when they have to start thinking and use their imagination. I love that! I don't need to have something for my boys to do all the time. Some of Z's favorite times are when he is left alone in the playroom. He will play for hours by himself. I used to be worried about that, but in the book she says that boys need time to be alone. At the same time, she stresses the importance of know what your boys are doing in their alone time. If they are alone spending time locked in their room on the computer, even the best of boys can get in trouble. Time with parents is the biggest theme in the book. Parents, especially fathers, should be a big part of a boy's life. She talks about the lack of fathers in homes now days. Sons want to be like their fathers, good or bad. She also talked about the love that a mother has for her sons and how it is important to show him that love. Not only are ideas that she has learned as a pediatrician shared, but actual statistics about children and parents are stated. She supports all of her ideas with research. Sons need and want their parents to be involved, supportive, and present in their development into a man, which, Meeker states, does not happen until they are 25. Boys minds continue to develop up to the age of 23! That means teenage boys are still very capable of changing for the better or worse.
One of her chapters talks about the importance of God in a boy's life. I loved this chapter, not only because I am a religious person, but because everything she said was backed up by research. She wasn't just touting beliefs, she was supporting the fact that teaching a boy about God helps him mature in to the kind of man we want our sons to become. Young boys are very open to God because they want believe that someone is always there, providing unconditional love. That belief can help boys through the hardest of times when not even their parents can be there.
Meeker points out the virtue is not just for girls, it is for our boys too! She says that, often, boys are even more sensitive to things like lying and name calling than girls, but they are more guarded so we don't realize it. Boys need to learn to tell the truth, to have courage, to have self control, etc... And one of the best ways to teach them these things, is to show them. She suggests, instead of taking them to a ball game, maybe their dad can take them to a soup kitchen to volunteer.
The last thing I got from the book that I want to share is the importance of the outdoors. I have been pregnant the last two summers, so my poor kids have been stuck in the air conditioned house with their overheated mom. After reading this book, I am making it a point to get my kids, especially my boys, outside more. Dr Meeker talks about how instead of letting your boy play a war game on the computer, give them a paintball gun and have your son and your husband go outside to have their own war in the woods. Boys, and even men, need to have a connection to the outdoors. And they need real, not simulated, experiences.
There are so many awesome things that I learned from reading this book. It gave me some ideas, but more importantly, it gave be a new resolve to be a better mom to my sons and my daughters. It gave me a push to spend more time with my kids, to listen to them, to praise them, and to be the kind of mom they need to grow in to the kind of adults I hope them become.
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