Birthdays for Mom

I'm back! Its been a crazy few months, but now that my baby boy is here and things are back to normal, I'm going to get back to posting.

Today is my 26th birthday! I love birthdays!!! I think they are the best holidays, because everyone has one just for them. As I was thinking about my birthday this year, I remembered something my seminary teacher once said. He said something to the effect of, "I don't know why kids get presents for their birthdays. They should be giving presents to the mom! She is the reason you are alive and doing all the things you are doing." Now, I don't take all the credit for my kids. I do stay home with them, but some days that's about it. But, I do credit my mom for a lot that I have and am. So, today on my birthday, I want to say thanks Mom! Brother Chelson was right! The person I am today has much credit to you! Love you Mom!!!

Television

Do you ever find yourself sitting an watching mindless shows for way longer than you should? I hope I'm not the only one. Sometimes at the end of the day I think, "Wow, really Heidi?!? You just wasted an entire day, or at least a big chunk of the day, and now you are grumpy because the house isn't as clean as you would like!" Most of the time I will justify the action saying things like, "Well, you are pregnant right now and don't feel that good. What else are you going to do?" or "You did a whole bunch of crocheting or cutting out whatever you are going to sew for your business. It was just back ground noise. Its not like it made you go slower." or "The kids were asleep. It was your one chance to relax without interruption."

As I have been thinking about all these justifications, and more, I have thought about how much time I have wasted almost every day! There is always something that needs to be done, and yet I just sit there at times. So, I'm going to try something. Tomorrow I'm going to go an entire day without watching a single show or movie. Then I'm going to do that for a second day. I'm going to try to not watch television for one week. Now, here is the hard part, I'm also going to try to replace it with something more productive. That does NOT include Pintrest, Facebook, my smartphone, etc... I can still do those things, but not any more than I normally do. At the end of the week, I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!!!

Big Sisters

When I was little, I always wished I had a big sister. I was so jealous of all my friends with older sisters. They had someone to talk to about boys, to do their hair and nails, etc... I was lucky enough to be the big sister, but at the time I didn't think I was so lucky. Now I am married and I have 6 big sisters!!! How lucky does a girl get?!? Instead of doing my hair, they are examples to me and my family, which is even better. Here is a little bit about each one.

Big Sister #1: Every time I talk to her, I feel so important. She has a way of making you feel great about yourself and your family. She really is interested in you! I don't think I have ever met a more loving person. Even my kids feel that from her! She also is a great person to go shopping with. That is one of the functions of a big sister I always wanted!

Big Sister #2: She is a great example to me that you can be a smart, strong woman, but still be a stay-at-home- mom. That is something I have struggled with in the past, and it is so nice to have an example like her. She fights for her kids. She teaches her kids. She is a great example for her kids. And most of all, she obviously loves her kids!

Big Sister #3: I think I know her the least of all 6 sisters, but I want to be just like her when I grow up! She is Wonder Mom. I have never heard of a mom taking their kids on so many adventures all by herself! Her kids aren't just learning about things, they are experiencing things. She is also very compationate. I love hearing stories of people she helps without even being asked. That is how I want to be!

Big Sister #4: Whenever I talk to her, I am not afraid to say what I think. I love it!!! She has an opinon and isn't afraid to share it. At the same time, she doesn't mind if you share yours either. That isn't a quailty many people have. I love sitting and talking to her. Its so great to just be able to talk with her. I often find that I could just go on for hours!!!

Big Sister #5: She fills just about every roll you would think a big sister would fill when you grow up. She is willing to drop what she is doing and help family when it is needed (she has done it several times for me). She is super talented, and obviously helps her kids find their talents. There is always singing, dancing, sports, bull ridding, etc... going on in her living room, and I love it!!!

Big Sister #6 (She is technically a few months younger than me, but close enough!): She has more faith and inner strength than most anyone I know. She is an example to me every single day. Nothing in the world is more important to her than being a good mother. It is so obvious when you see her with her kids. I also love it when she calls because I know there is going to be a happy, energetic voice on the other end that will make me smile the moment I hear it!

These are just a few small things that I have been thinking about and so thankful for. Big sisters are a must, I've decided, even if they don't come into your life until you are an adult. If you don't have one, I suggest you get one!

Boy

Just a Little....."Seasoning"

Yesterday Zach, with some help from Samantha, thought all the food stuck on the floor needed a little seasoning. So, the salt shaker was emptied and the pepper shaker was lightened. I've been needing to mop the floor for a couple week and just haven't had the time. After this little "seasoning" incident, my feet were covered with salt every time I walked into the kitchen, even after sweeping. So, the mopping that has needed to be done for a couple weeks finally got done last night.

Kids are just so helpful. They make things that I haven't made time for a priority. So, thanks Zach (and Samantha - she tries to act innocent, but I know she isn't).

Time

On Sunday, I woke up to a sick little boy. Since it was Father's Day, I let Michael decide whether he wanted to take Samantha to church or stay home. Since there was throwing up involved, he decided to go to church (go figure)!

At church, Samantha was getting a little antsy. She kept telling Michael that she wanted to go play with the kids (that means she wants to go to Nursery). Finally, he showed her his watch and told her when the big hand pointed to that number, it would be time to go. She held the watch, staring at it for a minute, then shook it and told her dad, "Its not working!!!"

There are so many times when I feel the same way. Time seems to either stand still or move so quickly I can't catch a minute. Its funny how every single day has the same hours, but some days seem to last for a few hours less while others seem to drag on forever. As I thought about this phenomenon, I realized that, when all put together, nothing seems to last that long. As a whole, life seems to be speeding on quickly. Sometimes I get so caught up looking at what I want to happen next, or what I'm dreading next, that I forget that right now is a great place to be! I've been trying to live in the now lately. Every morning I try to thank my Heavenly Father for one more day to be a wife and a mom. I thank Him for one more day to be alive. For one more day to progress and learn. I thank him for one more day to enjoy all the blessings I have. And I've noticed, that days that I do this, I really do enjoy my day. The blessings that are around me every second and so much better than they have been. So, as my day flies by or slowly drags on, I have my own challenge to enjoy it! Love every minute! After all, now it what we have.

Annyoing or Blessing?

My sister just left to serve an 18 month service mission for our church a little over a month ago. I am the second child of 4 and she is number 3. I was always the protective big sister to her, even if she didn't realize it. I remember kids saying mean things about her tagging along when we were little and I would get so mad at them! Only I am allowed to say such things about MY sister!

Anyway, as we have grown older, we talk a lot. Now, when I say a lot, that doesn't really cover it. My husband would come home from work almost every day and ask if Kathryn called. Not often would I say no. If she didn't call, she would usually text. As part of her mission she isn't allowed to call her family except on Mother's Day and Christmas. She does write emails once a week and letters whenever she has time. We do the same for her. That is how we stay in touch. Since she no longer has a phone to call me, my phone seems to have died. It just never rings any more!!! I'm not quite sure why I have a phone sometimes. I used to keep it on me at all times, but now I'll go an entire day and not know where it is!

Before Kathryn left, I often complained to my husband about how much she called and how little I had to talk about. Sometimes she would say, "Hi" and the conversation would end there. Its amazing how quickly something that really annoyed you can leave and you suddenly miss it! I guess I just need to realize what a blessing it is to have those annoying things in my life.

Here are a few of those things:

• Kids that fall ALL THE TIME....that means they want to cuddle at least once in a while.
• Whining....I'm a mom.
• Dirty dishes....I can afford to feed my family
• Toys everywhere....I get to stay home all day with my kids.
• A husband who doesn't hear half of what I say...I'm not alone in raising my kids
• Long 13 hour days with the kids....a great job for my husband.
• A baby that kicks all night....A healthy baby (I'm pregnant, just fyi)
• Alarm clocks....A reason to wake up every day.
• Potty training....A child with capabilities.
• People who talk to me about their issues when I don't really care....I'm trusted
• Paying for gas....I have a nice car that work
• Arguments....a brain to formulate opinions and people to share that with
• Bugs, especially when Samantha sees them first....the great earth that was created for me
• Phone bill....ability to talk to my mom, my husband, my sister, etc.... any time I want.
• Folding, and more importantly, putting away laundry....the ability to cloth my family in every kind of weather

There are so many more of these "annoying" things in everyone's life. Next time just remind yourself, if you didn't have that annoyance, it would be dearly missed!

Wyoming...its always in Wyoming!

We recently returned from a trip to Illinois, visiting family. Now that we have two kids, flying isn't really an option. So, we loaded up the van and drove across the country. It was a great trip. The kids did really well. We had fun with family. My sister-in-law and her daughter were with us, so we had some great company. The only major problem, of course, happened in the middle of no where (a.k.a. Wyoming).

If you have ever made the drive along I-80 across Wyoming, Nebraska, etc..., you know that Wyoming is ALWAYS the worst part of the drive. The weather is never good, it seems, no matter what time of the year. The towns are spaced very far apart, so there just isn't much civilization if you have issues. That last part was where the problem came in.

I was driving along, everyone quiet, when all of the sudden a tire went flat. Great! I pulled over. With three adults in the car you would think at least one of us had changed a tire before. Nope! About thirty minutes later the spare tire was on and we were making our way to the nearest town of Rawlins, just 33 miles away. Now, if you have ever driven on a spare you know you are not supposed to go over 50 mph. So, my husband, being cautious, drove 47 mph the entire way. We got to Rawlins and drove around trying to find a tire store. Eventually we stopped at Family Dollar where they loaned my husband a telephone book. He made his way through the entire section for tire stores. Only one person answered. They informed him they would love to help, but they were closed. Thanks!

We got back on the road and made our way to the next town.....100 miles away!!! It was probably the longest, slowest ride I have ever had! We even had to make our way through a few one lane construction zones. When we'd reach the end of the one lane zone we would just look ahead, not wanting to see the dozens of angry people that had to slowly follow behind us.

We made it to Rock Springs a couple of hours later, found a Walmart right off the interstate, and were on the road a couple hours later. We sure felt like we were flying down the interstate after that!

Now, when you have such an experience you are bound to learn something, right?!? Right! First, I learned that even though it might not happen often, my husband can be right. Just the day before as we made our way across Nebraska, he tried to get us to stop and have the tires checked. My sister-in-law and I talked him out of it. Oops! Lesson 2, sometimes people can't help that they have to go slow. How many times have I been annoyed that I was stuck behind a slow moving car. It is very humbling being that slow moving car, especially when the line behind you seems endless. And lesson 3, check the tires before you make a road trip across the country. That one should probably go without saying.

Mini-Me

Samantha has turned into Mini-Heidi. She goes around and says things that I say ("Come here son!" "Zach!" "You little stinker!" "You've got to be kidding me!" "I need to work on the computer." "Not right now." etc...). She loves to pretend to be the mom and have anyone else, except me, be the kid. She is always trying to "take care" of Zach, and he doesn't want anything to do with that! She will sit how I sit. She wants to do whatever I'm doing. She wants me to do whatever she is doing. She acts much like I did at her age, singing and dancing all of the time. She even wants to be a ballerina, just like I did, and I wasn't the one to put the idea in her head. She even looks like me! It is so funny, and very eye opening at time. I'll hear her getting mad at her toy or baby and think, "Where did she hear that?" Because, of course, I'm a super nice mom that never gets mad at my kids. Michael, and maybe my mom, enjoy it the most. I don't know if they are laughing with me, or at me. I'll just assume with me. You can't help but learn a lot about yourself when you have a little miniature-you following you around every day!

Just a Smile

Many mornings, on my way to work, I have passed the cutest old couple out walking. The lady is so bundled up that only her eyes are showing. The man has on his coat, hat, scarf, sun glasses, and the biggest smile I have ever seen! He also has a cane with him, which he usually carries (he may have been using it once). And every time I see them, without fail, they are holding hands.

The first time I saw this couple, I thought, "This part of town isn't that great, they are old, and it is freezing! What are they doing outside walking?!?" Then I noticed his smile. He just radiates happiness. I don't know anything about him or his wife, but, just by looking at his smile, I know they are happy. The freezing weather doesn't matter, that's why they are bundled up. They have probably lived in the same part of town since before it was much of a town. They are walking together, probably just like they have been their entire life, so why stop now just because their hair is white. I'm sure they look forward to that walk every morning.

What an amazing thing to be able to radiate happiness like that, especially as a couple. They probably have no idea that they have had an influence on some stranger driving by because of a smile! Seeing them in the morning puts a smile on my face that I want to pass on all day. That's the kind of person I want to be some day; the kind that makes you want to smile every time you think about them!

A Working Mom

Ever since Samantha was born, I have not had a full time job. I have subbed on Fridays when Michael is home and I have a small, at home business I make things for and sell online, but those are both things I can do if and when I have time.

A couple months ago, a teacher I substituted for asked me if I would be willing to be a full time sub while she went on maternity leave. After a lot of thought, prayers, and discussion with Michael, we decided that I would help her out for 3 of the 6 weeks (she had another sub that could do the other 3 weeks if I couldn't do all 6). My three weeks started last week, and now I know why I'm not a working mother!

I have gained a new found respect for mothers of young kids who work outside the home. That being said, it is not the life for me! Every morning is a struggle to get kids ready, out the door, to the babysitter, and to school on time. Once I get to school, I really enjoy the job. I work with great kids and even better teachers. It is so fun to be teaching again! But school ends, and I have to get the kids and start my day. Every time I pick up the kids, Zach crawls to me as quickly as possible! I love it! He is so happy to see me! Samantha is another story. She always cries and says, "No go home!!!" After finally dragging her out the door with Zach in tote, we get in the car and often, as soon as we pull in the garage, the crying starts again. I get her into the house, look at the mess from the day before and the morning, and the headache strikes! By the time Michael gets off work, figuring out what to make for dinner seems almost impossible.

I love that I am having this experience. It makes me appreciate that I can be home with my kids. I appreciate that I get to know what they are doing every minute of every day. I get to know what, when, and if they are eating good things. I can regulate how much television they get. I get to read them stories. I get to kiss them at nap time. I get to be the one that raises my kids. That is a huge blessing that is often times hard to see. Being a stay-at-home-mom can get so monotonous. Cleaning, cooking, diapers, screaming kids, etc... every day can be hard to deal with. But I have learned that when you work, you still have to deal with it, just add working to the list!

I'm sure there will be a point in a month or so, after working is a thing of the past, when I think, "I'm going crazy with the house and kids!" But, for the next week or two, I have a little different perspective!

Discoveries

My latest discovery: Being a working mom is hard! I'm glad it is only for 3 weeks! It is only day two, and I already have a headache every time I walk in the door.

Zach's latest discovery: Wax paper!

Get mad, or take a picture! Good think he's super cute!

Amazing People

I've been a little neglectful with the blog lately, but I said I would share a little more about what I have learned the past few weeks, so here it goes.

One of the biggest things I have learned is how amazing people are. I don't think I can even name most of the people that have helped my family, but I can tell you that we are thankful for each of them. I want to share a few examples of the service and love shown.

The prayers. I can't tell you what a help the prayers of others have been and continue to be, especially for my brother and his wife. I have never felt so strong the prayers of others. I know in the past I have wondered if my prayers for people really help. I now know, without a doubt, they do!

The babysitting. I am so blessed to have great friends! As soon as I heard about the accident, I couldn't decide which friend to call to watch my kids. I knew all of them would say yes in an instant. What a huge blessing it was for me to not have to worry about my kids for a minute. And, to not have to worry about hurrying home to take them back. I had so many offers to babysit too. It may seem simple, but it was huge for me!

The calls, texts, messages, etc... I always thought that in times of hardship it was better to leave people alone. I was wrong! All the calls, texts, Facebook messages, etc... that my family got that week, and continue to get, have been so uplifting. Its nice to be thought of. There were even people that we hadn't talked to in years that were calling, offering to help. My family has been overwhelmed (in a good way) with the wonderful people that have expressed their love and concern. Many of the messages never were responded to because of time, but every single one of them was a blessing. Next time I have a friend or family member going through a hard time, they will be at least getting a text from me. It is nice to know someone cares!

The money. A charitable bank account was set up for people to donate money to my brother and his wife. I can't believe the amount of people that have donated. I threw an auction on my Facebook business page and got a huge response. Some lady from my brother's church sponsored a bake sale and got local businesses to sponsor it. There are have been so many people, many who know my family and many who have never even met us, donate their time and their money to a family in need. At a time like this, money should not be an issue for them. They should work on healing, and they can because of the generosity of others.

The dinners. Between all of the members of my family, we have been fed well. The week of the accident I didn't have to make dinner once. My neighbors brought so many dinners that I was able to take them to the hospital and feed everyone I could get to eat. Again, it seems like a simple thing, but it was a huge blessing for us.

The love. I don't think we, as a family, have been through a harder time. I also don't think we have ever felt more love from friends, family, and our Father in Heaven. What a blessing it is to have that love and the faith to make it through.

Thanks to all of you who have supported our family in these, and many other ways. You are a blessing in our lives! I can't thank you enough!

My Anniversary Is When?

Today is my 5th anniversary! Not a huge mile stone, but you've got to start somewhere! Sometimes it feels a lot longer than that and sometimes it feels like we were just married yesterday.

This morning I woke up around 5:20 while Michael was getting ready for work. He said, "Today is..." and I responded, "Thursday!" Thursdays are exciting because he doesn't work on Fridays. He was happy with my answer and continued to get ready.

As I lay on my pillow, I thought, our anniversary is on a Thursday. Is it today or next week. Sad, I know, but I had to think for a minute before I realized, yes, it is today! I'll blame it on the early morning, although (don't tell) it isn't the first time I couldn't remember my anniversary, and it probably won't be the last. Isn't that what the man is supposed to do? Forget the anniversary? Oh well!!!

What I've Learn So Far

I have learned so many different things this past week and a half. Some I already knew, but just had my testimony of them strengthened a million times over. Here is a list of some of them (I'll expound on a few in later posts):

~ Prayers from others in your behalf work
~ Your prayers work
~ Just do it, don't ask if someone needs help, just help them
~ Having amazing friends you can count on is a huge blessing!
~ Families are forever
~ The gospel of Jesus Christ is true
~ Little children go straight to their Father in Heaven
~ I can't just sit
~ Sometimes my kids are going to drive me crazy, but that's okay; I still love them!
~ There is a plan for our lives, NOTHING is going to stop us from fulfilling that plan
~ Surrounding yourself with strong people (family and friends) is important; you can't make it through without them
~ Heavenly Father know what you need before you do, and he is a much better planner! Thank goodness He doesn't procrastinate!
~ Heavenly Father doesn't overlook anything
~ Hug your kids every day, tell them you love them every day, spend good time with them every day, be the best parent you can every day
~ Phones, Facebook, email, etc... are a huge blessing! As is a GPS!
~ Even in a hail storm of trials, there is some light. There are always blessing, just look for them.
~ Most importantly, Heavenly Father know and love every single one of His children!

The Longest Week of My Life

I haven't been on for a while. First I just didn't know what to write about, then I just didn't have time. Now, I have time, and I know just what I want to say.

This past week has been the longest week of my life. On Monday, my brother's wife was in a car wreck with her two children. As soon as I heard, I didn't know what to do. Michael still had a half hour or so of work and the hour long ride home. I didn't know what hospital to go to, I didn't know if I should be calling my brother, I didn't know the kids were in the car at first so I was wondering where they were, I didn't know how serious it was, I just didn't know a lot of things all at once. Then, it came to me. I needed to call the LDS Temple in Salt Lake City, UT and put their names on the prayer roll. They were going to need all the prayers they could get. I called, and then I prayed like crazy.

I finally got a hold of my brother, dropped my kids off at a neighbor's house (I will forever be thankful for her), picked up Michael, and headed to the hospital.

One of the greatest blessings of that night was getting to the hospital at the same time as my Aunt and Uncle. We got to the elevators at the same time; I didn't even know they were coming. My parents were 4 hours away, but getting closer every minute, so I was very glad to have someone there to help me keep calm and know what to do to help.

I won't go into the details of the night and next day, but my 2 year old niece, Ethne, passed away that night. My sister-in-law was in the ICU for several days. My nephew was released from the hospital the next afternoon with only 5 stitches and not a bruise on his body. He is our little miracle. After looking at the photos of the car, I am amazed that anyone lived. The car was broadsided by a cement truck and pushed 60 feet. I am so sad about Ethne, but I am so thankful for my sister-in-law and her son.

Over the last week there has been a lot of tears. I have never felt so sad. There have also been a lot of prayers, from my family and for my family. I am amazed at the outpouring of love we have received. I am so thankful for it. People I haven't talked to in years would be here in a moment if I needed their help. I have been asked several times what we need. I always say, "Your prayers." My faith in prayer is bigger than it has ever been. I can literally feel the power of the prayers being said in my family's behalf. This has been the saddest, but most spiritual experience of my life.

I know that I have a Father in Heaven that loves me and loves all of His children. I know that he has power over all things. I know that he has a plan for our lives and that we will not be taken from this earth until that plan has been fulfilled. How thankful I am for that knowledge!

Getting Kids to Help

On Thursday, the weekly play group was planned for 10 am, as usual. The only thing different about this week was the birthday party I planned for Samantha. I made rainbow cupcakes and bowls of different topping to decorate them with, bought party favors for all her friends, and had beads and string so everyone could make a necklace. Cleaning the house and getting everything set up before 10 was a bit of a race against the clock.

I decided that Samantha should help out and clean the play room. She knows how to put the toys in the toy box, and it would take a little of the pressure off of me. Well, it should have taken a little pressure off of me. It didn't. I think trying to get your kids to clean is more stressful than just doing it yourself.

Now, as a parent, what do you do when your kids are not doing what they are supposed to? You threaten them. At one point I said, "Do you want to go put the toys away or sit on your bed while your friends are here?" Samantha responded, "Sit on my bed." And started up the stairs. When you threaten, kids are not supposed to be okay with it! So I came back with, "Fine, then I'm going to throw away all of the cupcakes!" "No!!!" And she rushed into the play room. Of course, she didn't stay long.

When the threats are just not working, then it might be time to reason with the child (even if they are three and have no idea what you are saying). So, I said, in a not so calm voice (probably not very effective for reasoning), "I have worked very hard and just want you to have a good birthday!!!" In stead of feeling like she should now help, she just gave me a look of confusion. It was like she was wondering if she should be offended, sad, or sorry. In the end, she decided to just stand there.

After the threats have failed and the reasoning goes over their head, its time to just get something done! I finished everything I needed to do then helped Samantha with the play room. It was as easy as that!

Great Timing

Right after I wrote the last post, about trying to remember how sweet my kids really are, I walked into the kitchen and found this!

I just had to remember what my sister-in-law once told me, you can get mad or you can take a picture. I took a picture!

She Really IS a Sweet Girl!

Do you ever have days or weeks where your kids test your patience more than usual? I hope I'm not alone in this. Most of the time, I'm just fine. But every once in a while, I just can't take it any more. Those are the times that my husband gets a phone call on the way home from work, instructing him to stop at Arby's for dinner. On those days, Samantha gets to watch more television than usual. The house is not clean at the end of the day. I do not run errands unless I have no choice. You get the picture.

On the flip side, there are days when I just can't believe how wonderful my kids are. They will just do something to make me think, "I must be doing something right, at least once in a while."

I had one of those experiences this past weekend. On Friday, I subbed for a Kindergarten aide. So, of course, when I came home I started to feel sick. By Saturday morning, I didn't want to move. I just hurt everywhere! At one point in the day, I was laying on the couch with my eyes closed while Samantha was watching a movie. Out of no where, I feel two little hands move the hair off of my forehead and give me a kiss. It was the sweetest thing! I was so surprised, and my heart just melted all in the same moment.

As I've struggled with her this week (yes, I know I'm writing this on Tuesday), I keep trying to remember that moment. She really does like me. She really does care. She isn't here to make me go crazy. She really is a sweet girl. Telling myself this has helped a little, although Michael did pick up some dinner last night.

Enjoy the Rain

As I walked out of the Smith building, away from my last class of the day, I saw rain pouring from the sky. It had been nice out when I started classes that day, but now there was water everywhere. People had their heads tucked under jackets, coats wrapped around their books and assignments, faces down in an effort to keep them dry, and they were rushing as quickly as they could to class, work, home, or wherever they needed to be. As I looked at the rain, I made the decision that I was going to enjoy it. I walked down the steps of the Smith building, held out my arms, and looked at the sky. It was wonderful! Just then, some boy, hurrying by, said, "You are having way too much fun!" and rushed on. I couldn't help but smile. I didn't know if I was having TOO much fun, but I was having fun. I loved the rain. I went home and got a couple of roommates to come outside with me. We splashed in puddles like we were 5 years old. We danced in the rain. We had a great time in weather that no one else seemed to be enjoying. Afterwards, we were soaked and cold, but it didn't matter. We put on pajamas and drank hot chocolate.

I've been thinking about that experience a lot the last week or so. I've decided that I need to look at more situations in my life the way I looked at that rain. I remember making the decision, I was going to love that rainy day, and I did. I am making an effort to look at things in my life the same way. There are so many things that we get to experience. Often, others with similar experiences will try to hurry though, trying hard not to get their faces and books too wet. I don't want to have any time in my life rushed through. I only get so long here on this earth, why not love every minute that I can. I'm going to look up, hold out my arms, and have way too much fun; I'm going to splash in the puddles, and I'm going to try to bring my friends and family with me! We are going to get soaked. Every ounce of water that can possibly soak into our clothes, will. But in the end, it will be a great experience. A great memory. A great way to decide to look at the rainfalls of life!

Seatbelts and a Sticker

Its amazing the things I remember from childhood. Of all the things that my brain could store, it has chosen some odd memories at times. One such memory comes from Mrs. Newman's kindergarten class at Knowlton Elementary in Farmington, UT.

I don't remember anything about the day, other than the fact that Mrs. Newman talked to my class about wearing seat belts. She asked us to raise our hand if we promised to always wear a seat belt. Everyone, of course, raised their hand and in turn got a sticker for making that promise. I have no idea what kind of a sticker, but I do know I got one. I also remember kids asking her questions like, "What if we are just driving across the street?" or "What if the car doesn't have a seat belt?" etc... (You can imagine what a group of 5 year old kids would be like). She answered the barrage of unusual questions while handing out the stickers.

Now, every time I get in the car and don't put my seat belt on, I think of that day. Weird, I know. Its been over 20 years ago, but I can never seem to forget the promise I made to Mrs. Newman, I would always wear my seat belt (even if we are just driving across the street)! I mean, she gave me a sticker! How could I lie to her after such a great trade?!?

Change in Plans

Often, when you are trying to follow the plan that Heavenly Father wants you to follow, things turn out way different than you expect them to. I know that this has been the case for me many times.

Not quite a year after I got married, I was at a general church meeting. To me, it seemed like every speaker was talking about have children and being a mother. After a lot of thought and prayer, Michael and I decided that is was time to have a family. This is not at all what I had planned. I was still in school, and if I had a baby 9 months from then, I would still have my student teaching to do. Student teaching with a new baby would be really hard. But, if this was the plan that I was supposed to follow, I would.

A couple months later I was pregnant. I was so excited! A baby! I had no idea what having a baby entailed, but it would be an adventure that I was willing to take on. Just a couple of weeks later, I thought I was having a miscarriage. False alarm! I went to my first doctor's appointment, had an ultrasound, and saw the baby and a strong heart beat. All of my fears about a miscarriage were set aside.

I was twelve weeks along when we went to Illinois to spend Christmas with Michael's family. We decided I was far enough along to make an announcement.

A couple of weeks later, school had started again. I was the assistant stage manager for a production on campus and, as such, had the duty to help cast the show. During call backs the thing I had feared most happened, I started bleeding. I tried to ignore it and get through the auditions. When I got home late that night, I was in tears. I knew I was having a miscarriage.

After a very long night, a trip to the hospital, a cranky and not very nice doctor, a partial D and C and a lot of tears, I went home. It was a Friday night, so at least I had the weekend at home. I didn't have to tell anyone for a couple of days at least. That was going to be the worst part of the entire ordeal.

At church on Sunday, I sat by a very pregnant woman. I hadn't really thought about it when I sat down. She was new. I wanted to make a new friend. Then the list of who was pregnant and when they were due came around. The leaders liked to keep track of who was having a baby and when so they could help out with meals for a couple days. The week before I had put my name on that list. When I got the list I started crying and crossed my name off. It was devastating for me. Then, out of no where, this amazing sister that didn't even know me put her arm around me. It was a very small act of kindness, but she will never know how much that helped me get through that moment and that day. It makes me cry, even now, to think about her kindness.

On Saturday or Sunday night, my sister-in-law stopped by with some dinner for us. When she was there she started to tell me about her miscarriage. At first, I didn't want to hear it. So many people had tried to tell me about their own miscarriages in order to comfort me. I didn't want to be comforted, I just wanted to be sad for a little while. But then she said something to me that put the entire situation into perspective. She said, if she wouldn't have had her miscarriage, she wouldn't have had her daughter. At that moment, I knew why this awful experience happened. I was being prepared for a different child to come into my home.

Three months later, I was pregnant with my beautiful daughter Samantha. She came just in time for me to be done with my student teaching.

Life doesn't always work out according to your plan, but it does work out according to our Father in Heaven's plan. That is such a comfort to know!

The Story Continues

The fall semester started. I was so excited! I had decided to just have fun, boys were not even on my radar. I had just moved in with some friends, I was working at the campus book store, and I had some great classes. And, best of all, my roommates and I had established Wednesdays as "Chick-Flick and Chocolate Night!" It was going to be a great semester, I just knew it!

A week or two into the semester, Michael appeared at the book store looking for a stapler. Since they were in my section of the store, I helped him find one. We talked for a while, and I eventually invited him to come watch a movie with my roommates and me (it was Wednesday). Unlike most boys we ever invited, he said he would come! Great! I was excited to have some guy friends to add to my fun semester.

We ended up becoming great friends fast. He was very interested in a girl that lived three doors down from me. She just led him on a lot, so he'd come to me for advice. Eventually I told him he just needed to move on and date someone else.

On day we went to the park with my roommates. We were just playing games and hanging out. The next thing I know, my roommates and know where to be found. They had ditched us! I was so embarrassed!!! I wasn't even sure if I liked him enough to date him, and now he was probably thinking I set the whole thing up! When I got home and saw all three girls, smiling to themselves, I let them know what I thought about their little plan. They kept telling me he was interested, but I would just rebuttal with, "No way! We are way to much alike. If I was a boy, I would be him!"

A week or two later, he asked me to hang out with him and a group of friends on Saturday. Sounded good to me! My brother and another guy I knew growing up were going to be there too. I showed up to the meeting point before Michael and was asked by my friend if I was Michael's date. Date? I had never heard the word date in context with this little outing. To say I was a little confused would be an understatement. I later found out, he asked me to come because he felt like he had to since I had invited him to so many things. Flattering!

We eventually started dating. And, of course, as soon as we were dating, the girl a few doors down decided she really wanted to date him too. Good thing she was a little slow on the uptake! It was a little weird for a while, but we were soon engaged (another great story for another time) and then married. I think marrying your best friend is really the way to go!

How I Met Michael

So many people have this great story about the first time they met their spouse. They can tell about how cute they thought the other person was, maybe they even remember what they were wearing. Some people say that the moment they saw their spouse, they knew that was who they were going to marry. That is not even close to what my story is!

The first time I met Michael, I was with my friend, Lauran. I was out of school for the summer, but went in to town (my parents only lived 20 minutes from the school I attended) to go to a church event with Lauran. Before we left, she had to stop at her neighbor's house for a minute. I stood in the doorway. To my left, on the couch in his suit and tie with a plate of food on his lap (there was a party going on), was Michael. Lauran introduced us. We talked for just a minute while Lauren did whatever it was she needed to do, then I left.

Now, as exciting as this first meeting sounds, it was not at all memorable for Michael! A week or two later, we met on the porch of the house Lauren lived in. Another week after that, he met me, yet again, on Lauren's porch. I told him I had met him the past week, and he had no memory of it at all! It took three meetings for Micheal to even remember that he had met or seen me before. Needless to say, it was not love-at-first-sight!

Micheal and I ended up going to church together! We had no idea, but since he was obviously not interested, it didn't really make a difference weather I saw him or not. My brother started going to church with me and became friends with Micheal. I remember one Sunday, they were talking and I came over to them since my brother was my ride home. Some how the subject got around to the point that I had not been asked out on a date since I started college (just what I want my brother to tell his guy friends). Michael later told me, he remembers thinking that he didn't know why, I wasn't bad looking. But, it never crossed his mind to ask me out.

At the end of the summer, my brother and I decided to hold a little party at my grandparent's house, down by the Snake River. I invited my friends, he invited his (which included Michael). At the party, Michael and I started talking. We ended up sitting on a bench by the river just chatting about our families, school, and whatever else came up. It started getting cold, and he didn't have a jacket, but I had a jacket and a blanket. So, being the nice person I am, I offered him the blanket. Being the oblivious person he is, he took it!

After that, the semester ended, he went off to spend time with his family, and I got ready to start a new semester. He didn't even really cross my mind, until school started again....

What to do?

I'm am very lucky to have a husband that works four days a week, then has a three day weekend! I feel so lucky to have him home so much. He does work long days during the week, but its worth it to have him home. Since we have three days as a family, there is usually a "schedule" we follow. On Fridays I sub at a local school, and we clean the house. That means on Saturdays we can spend time as a family doing whatever we want!!! Sounds great, right?!? It is, except for the fact that we have a hard time thinking of something to do, especially when the weather is bad. That is what happened today.\

When we woke up this morning, there was snow on the ground and it was still coming down pretty hard. We spent the morning trying to decide what to do. We looked into going into Salt Lake City to a museum or the aquarium, but with the cost of gas, the snow, and the cost of admission, we decided against it. After a while of more sitting, we decided to watch Snow White. My daughter is a bit obsessed with Snow White the princess, but she has never seen the movie. After the movie was nap time. Michael and I watched a show and ate lunch while the kids slept. When everyone woke up, we went out and shoveled the snow. Samantha and Michael stayed outside a little longer to play. Now we are headed to Applebee's with a gift card we got for Christmas.

Today I have learned, that sometimes a day home with the family is enough. We all got to do something we enjoyed, we didn't spend any money (except on dinner). Its fun to leave the house and explore what is around us, but it is also fun to stay home and explore what we have with us every day!

Who's Really In Charge?

Sometimes I wonder who is really in charge around the house. My husband in the head of the home. I am the mom, which means I take care of the kids all day so they should listen to me, right? Despite all of that, sometimes I think Samantha thinks she's in charge.

A little while back, Samantha woke up in the middle of the night crying. Michael went in to see what was wrong. He asked her if she wanted him to lay by her for a few minutes. She replied, "No, I sleep alone. Mommy lay on the floor!" It makes me laugh that she could even come up with such an idea on her own. It also makes me think that my almost 3 year old thinks she can order her parents around, when she really can't, well at least most of the time!

One morning I woke up to Samantha putting the large tub of strawberry milk mix on my bed and saying "I want strawberry milk!" It's not uncommon for her to go to the fridge, grab a gallon of milk, and bring it to me saying, "I want milk!" Or to go to the kitchen and bring back some snack and say, "I want a treat!" At least she hasn't figured out how to open them herself, that's when I'm going to be in real trouble! I often her the phrases in a very demanding voice, "Carry me!" "No nap!" "I want a treat!" "I watch a show!" "I hurt" (she uses that one to get out of whatever she doesn't want to do), "I go bye, bye!" etc...

I'm not so oblivious to think that this is abnormal. I know that is just what two and three year olds do. My mom always said its really the terrible threes, not the terrible twos. I'm about to have my first three year old, and I think my mom is right! So, there is nothing to do but push through. I'll just keep reminding her that saying please is the way to get things, that helping out is really not so bad, and that nap time is not only necessary for her, but it is also very necessary for me!

Couch to 5K

I'm back!!! After a few crazy weeks of holidays and families, life is getting back to normal (whatever that is)! That means it is time for me to start the balancing act which is my life. Part of that balancing act is deciding what is important to me and making it fit into my life.

I've never been that girl you see running along the side of the road with her IPOD on her arm, or that girl that is always looking for an excuse to play a sport, or that girl that loves to go to gym. Exercising is not what I would call "a fun time." I'm not sporty, I hate to run, I have no hand-eye coordination, etc... You know the type. Despite all of that, I've decided to make exercise a habit. I'm not doing this to get skinny (although that could be a great side effect I would not complain about); I'm doing this because I want to be healthy and I want to feel like I have become good at something I've never been good at. Heavenly Father has promised us that, if we are willing to work on it, the weak things in our life can become strong things.

So, here is my plan: I'm going to give up sugar for the month of January, maybe longer if I feel so inclined at the time. And, I'm going to do a program called "Couch to 5K." Here is a link to the program: http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml When I lived in Arizona, I had a friend tell me about this program. I was going to try it, but instead found out that baby #2 was on the way. I used that as an excuse and never finished more than a couple runs. It is designed to take you from sittig on the couch to runnin a 5K in 8 weeks!!! Sounds a little crazy maybe, I really don't know. Like I said, I've never been a runner, so I may be getting in over my head. But, today was my first day and I was able to finish without feeling like I was going to die!!! You should try it if that is something you also want to work on. Who knows, we could all be ready to run a 5K in 8 weeks!

This post isn't supposed to make you feel like you need to run a 5K or stop eating sugar or loose weight, etc... It is supposed to get you thinking about what you want to make strong in your life. I know it is a cliche to say, "It's the beginning of a new year, time to make a resolution!" So, instead say, "It's a new day, I'm going to make it better than yesterday; I'm going to make myself better than I was yesterday."

Please feel free to share your resolutions for today in the comments!!!! I love to hear what others are working on. It inspires me to do better!